The cat pooped on the rug today. I was going to punish her, but cats aren't that bright and our cat makes other cats look like particle physicists. She wouldn't have a clue what I was punishing her for; I doubt she'd even realize she was being punished. She'd just have that vague sense of discomfort that comes with some large biped yelling at her, then meow that she wanted "out."

It was my fault anyway. I left her at home to go to a meeting, knowing that she'd just eaten and that I'd be gone most of the day. It took me about two minutes to clean up the spot and disinfect it; being a male I devised a cunning set of cardboard scoops to handle the job, which added about five minutes to the whole venture.

All in all, my cat got a few hours of warmth and comfort in exchange for a few minutes of my labour, and that would seem a fair trade.

Which is to say that next time she stays outside.

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